Valentine's Day Shorts

-1-
Two-Face: *gives Ebony a bouquet of roses* So...I brought you some flowers.

Ebony: *snatches the bouquet* You shoulda brought me some chocolates, what am I supposed to do with these? *looks at it for a second* … *Eats a rose* *sadly* This tastes terrible…

Two-Face: *sweatdrop* Well you're not suppose to eat them...

-2-
*Marcus before meeting Lola…Probably…*

Marcus: *About to walk out the door* I’m taking Candy on a date for Valentine’s day.

Vlad: She dumped you 4 months ago, Marcus.

Marcus: *Curls into a fetal position and starts sobbing uncontrollably* I Forgot!

-3-
Clarice:  *laying in bed, cuddling with Phantom* Hey, Phantom?

Phantom: *mumbles* Wha…?

Clarice: Let’s not celebrate Valentine ’s Day this year, it’s just too much trouble.

Phantom: *tiredly* Good, ‘cuz I didn’t get you anything.

Clarice: *glares at him* What?

Phantom: *opens his eyes wide* Oh, shit…

-4-
Belarus: *walks up to Kimchi and gives him a heart-shaped card* *smiles* Happy Valentine’s Day, Kimchi~

Kimchi: *Accepts, returning Belarus’s smile* Thanks. I’m glad I ran into ‘cause *gives her a red envelope* I got something for you too.

Belarus: *excitedly opens the envelope* Oh, Kimchi you shouldn’t have! Just the fact that you- *reads what’s in the envelope and frowns* This is a restraining order…

Kimchi: *glares* Yeah, now get the hell away from me.

-5-
*Vlad and Aisling at a poke mart*

Aisling: *coughs, getting Vlad’s attention* *points to the aisle full of Valentine’s Day stuff*

Vlad: *notices a box of condoms and grabs that instead* Good call, Aisling, I knew I was forgetting something. *walks over to the register*

Aisling: That’s not what I was- *sighs* Oh, forget it… *follows him*

-6-
Two-Face: *laying in a bed of scattered with rose petals* Eb, it’s Valentine’s day, you know what that means!

Ebony: *kicks the door down* *holding an empty heart-shaped box ad her face smeared with chocolate* WHOO! BETTER CALL INTO WORK TOMORROW, I’M ABOUT TO SUCK THE SOUL OUT OF YOU!

-7-
Stephon: *Rapping while banging his hand on the table* Man I can’t wait for tonight with my girl, she is the bestest, psych, I’m single, and I’ll be home watching Netflix.

Trey: *from the other room* Hey, Master, The Walking Dead’s about to start!

Stephon: comin’...

-8-
*If Draco had met Lucy on Valentine’s Day…*

Draco: I’m single.

Lucy: *growls*

Draco: And you’re single.

Lucy: *stops growling* *eyes Draco suspiciously*

Draco: And It’s Valentine’s Day! Hmm, it’s like Arceus himself is trying to push us together.

Lucy: *confused* What?

-9-
Almia: *singing* We-e, are never ever, ever, ever, getting back together~ *hugs Pippy* ‘Cause we’re never breaking up, right, Pippy?

Pippy: Uh…

Almia: *Hugs him tighter, smiling creepily* Right, Pippy…?

Pippy: *shaking slightly* R-Right!

-10-
*Kimchi and Ember walking down the street*
Random Machoke: *walks by them* *glances at Ember* Hey, baby, where’re you takin’ that fine ass?

Kimchi: *turns around and glares at the Machoke*

Ember: *grabs his arm* Kimchi, don’t fight him. They’re just words.

Kimchi: Okay. *takes a deep breath* I won’t fight him, because I can control my anger.

...

Judge: And how would the defendant like to plea?

Kimchi: Not guilty. He ran into my sword, you honor.

Judge: 37 times?

Kimchi: The guy was crazy.

Wesley: *lean over to Chris and whispers* You have the money for bail?

Chris: Yup.